An Open Letter

Dear Mr. Cooper,
I'd like to inquire why you find the need to eat my carpet and shoes. Maybe you like bitter apple spray? I'm not even sure how you even reach my bras. They are left to dry pretty high up, but in order for them to work, the straps are needed. I would also like you to cease and desist pillaging my dirty clothes. I typically like my panties to have the crotch in tact, as well as my jeans and pajama bottoms. Really? Is this how you want me representing myself to the world? Crotchless?

I also need your cooperation when we go walking. As I'm sure you would agree, you would not like to be barked at when you are trying to take care of your business, so I ask you to please consider following the golden rule and do unto others.....

Finally, I enjoy your company tremendously, but prefer that when we play you pay closer attention to where your toy ends and my skin begins. It hurts.

Your cooperation in these matters is much appreciated.

Love, the mommy

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


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